Too Smart?

An update about the mental health journey, plus one fun night.

So, I saw the social worker again this week as he thought meeting after a week would be a good idea. This session was basically the first, and it was more difficult and draining than I anticipated. Of course, bringing up and dealing with frustrations (however minor they may seem on the outside) is not easy work. Sometimes, I’m too smart.

Even though I’ve been fairly stable the last few weeks, I think the social worker saw that even though I have the right knowledge and right ideas/attitudes, putting those into work are not as easy as knowing them. I’m a little grateful for that, because I need a little more guidance from him to start rather than just going on and on about things.

We discussed frustrations I have in my life, including a very basic, very silly one: I want to be able to play music in my car. I bought a bluetooth AUX receiver and it worked great when I first used it, then pooped out not three hours later—I think there is a short in the line or something. So naturally, I was frustrated and couldn’t find any answers online. I discovered, thankfully, that if I just unplug the unit from the AUX port before turning the engine on and off, seems to do the trick fine. Just don’t ask me to be a get away driver with good music ready to go!

I went to the eye doctor again and have to go yet another time to get a retina scan to check for any thinning/damage to my eyes as I have high pressure in my left eye (unsurprising?) and I mentioned that I have anxiety and my muscles tend to be stressed to the point of pain sometimes, even in my eye and he said that could be a factor, but might not be. Anyway, I’m hoping that my left eye is free of glaucoma and that I can just be monitored to make sure it doesn’t get worse.

Anyway, I thought I’d mention that I did something fun, by myself in a new place (which is difficult for me). I went to the Troubadour in West Hollywood to see one of my favorite bands, Acceptance, play for the first tour in 10/12 years. It was a great show and I’m going again Monday in Orange County. Should be another good show. Decided to go out afterward to the West Hollywood strip, and that wasn’t as fun as I was hoping, but then again, I wasn’t just going out to go out. The whole thing was a little terrifying, but I’m glad I went out.

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6 thoughts on “Too Smart?

  1. I’m glad to hear that you had fun. Yes, the Strip can be horrifying. Sometimes, I have the heart for it, but then again, sometimes I don’t. As for your social worker, keep trying. It’s not always easy to purge your feelings, but when you do it more often, it gets better.

  2. Hey Andrew~~ hang in, mah man! You’re in action, and that’s a good place to be. The only place to be. Turns out the universe meets us halfway, when we make the effort to get into action.

    I love to do things alone– even explore “scary” trendy places. And music– what better thing to lift the spirit? Music is healing and transformational, so pour it on. I go to as many concerts of those I love as my wallet will allow. In fact, it’s more important to me in my budgeting than clothing or even going to restaurants, movies, other entertainments.

    • I’ve done the restaurant alone thing, and that’s never really been an issue. We all have to eat and sometimes I want to eat in public alone. Concert was different, and it would have been nice to have a friend along, but regardless, it was great!

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