Deservedness

First off, I’m sorry I didn’t post last Thursday. To say my mind was elsewhere would be an understatement! My brother graduated with his PhD from Caltech and with all the goings-on, I completely forgot to post.

Alright, on to the main show!

I have a friend that I talk to on occasion who lives far away. He has stated to me, “You deserve someone fantastic in your life.” Just last night he said “I think I deserve someone to make me feel special, not played with.” This prompted me to reply, ” I think I deserve nothing.”

Let’s dive into the meaning of the word, courtesy of dictionary.com. Deserve (verb): to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward,assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation.

I believe that I truly deserve nothing. I my actions, person, and situation give me no claim for anything in life. I deserve nothing. In saying this, I remove my sense of entitlement—if you observe people enough, you will find someone with this. I have no right, no claim to happiness. I have to choose happiness, everyday, for myself. Living life is not so burdensome and horrible that I deserve life: it was a gift, as are all things.

This isn’t to say that I don’t work hard and just sit around waiting for gift. I go out and seek what I want, but just because I’m looking does not mean I will receive. Being who I am does not mean I deserve anything. I am nice to people not for rewards, but because I like being nice to people.

I feel that a lot of people in America feel they deserve something, be it a promotion, raise, job, family, car, respect, etc. Living life feeling that I deserve something made me bitter and anger because I did not receive what I thought I deserved. It has taken time, but now I feel I deserve nothing. To me, this opens up the possibility of everything: I can receive—as a gift—anything. This my mean that events I guessed could be connected, are not, and that is exciting.

I have changed my outlook on life over the last few years, and the power of how I’ve changed my world-view has made life pleasant and wonderful. I still have a long way to go, and I think this friend has shown me that I am going in the right direction.

I deserve nothing, and therefore everything is a possibility.

Post what you think about deservedness in the comments, I want to hear what your opinion.

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6 thoughts on “Deservedness

  1. Congratulations to your brother, by the way, Andrew.

    This reply will be stream of conscious… I’m formulating my thoughts as I write. I think we all deserve good things, but we have done nothing to deserve them. The good things are a part of the gift of life. To me, the universe is one of abundance and we are all deserving of and invited to take part in that abundance.

    Does it always manifest? Maybe not immediately, but if we try for anything, the universe has a way of meeting us halfway. There is a sort a alchemy in the universe that is incomprehensible for us on this plane of existence. Consider reading, “Holographic Universe” by Michael Talbot for new spins on the workings of life, Divine Intelligence, the concept of eternity/ies.

    I would say, I needed to be in a place where I believed I deserved a warm, good, loving, funny, intelligent partner before I could find myself in a relationship with someone like that.

    So, to me… you deserve only the best, Andrew. If you’re open to it, it will eventually appear in your life.

    • That is an interesting perspective. I am open to new ideas. I think that removing our sense that we have a right helps us achieve an appreciation of what we do have. I also have a saying adopted from a friend, “I am open to all positive things.” 🙂

  2. I appreciate all you have said. You have beautiful words and a clear perspective. If you would permit me, as a Christian, I would love to share the first thing that pops into my head when I think of the word “deservedness.”

    I know I deserve nothing, because I am nothing without Christ. My confidence comes through Christ. “Such confidence as this is ours through Chrit before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” 2 Corinthians 3:4-5

    Words I read everyday for how I can live my life to him,
    “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death–even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:3-8.

    Plenty of times I feel like I deserve to be treated more fairly, or more lovingly, and yet these passages remind me that, well, why should I deserve anything? I am a sinner whom Christ died for. It is only through him that I feel such completeness and confidence that though I deserve nothing here on earth or for that matter after I die, but I gain heaven through him. A blessing that is above all others. Thanks for letting me write on here. I hope I didn’t offend you, but rather shined a different perspective and light on this definition of “deservedness.”

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