Missing Out

Today’s blog is super late.

Lately, I’ve been so busy I feel like I can’t do anything. I’ve decided to cut back on readings over the last few weeks because 1) I have no extra gas money and 2) I need to get my own house in order‚ÄĒaka writing, etc.

I would have liked to gone to one tonight, but alas, family prevails in most situations. (Note: this blog will be spacey.)

I’ve read about half of my manuscript and I am happy to report only extremely boring parts in chapters 2 and 3. Chapter 1 is amazing (which probably means it is the worst…). Also, I have two novellas brew on the back corner not to mention severl short stories that really want to be published with their poem friends. AY! So much going on in my head!

Like looking a giant stack of work and being overwhelmed. Exactly how I feel. I know I’ll get through it all, and hopefully sooner rather than later, but I’m not too worried.

I’ve got a trip to plan, crochet creatures to make, movies to watch, stories to write, and piles and piles of books to read. Anyone wanna give me a couple thou so I can take the time off? Thanks! ūüėõ

Deservedness

First off, I’m sorry I didn’t post last Thursday. To say my mind was elsewhere would be an understatement! My brother graduated with his PhD from Caltech and with all the goings-on, I completely forgot to post.

Alright, on to the main show!

I have a friend that I talk to on occasion who lives far away. He has stated to me, “You deserve someone fantastic in your life.” Just last night he said “I think I deserve someone to make me feel special, not played with.” This prompted me to reply, ” I think I deserve nothing.”

Let’s dive into the meaning of the word, courtesy of dictionary.com.¬†Deserve (verb):¬†to¬†merit,¬†be¬†qualified¬†for,¬†or¬†have¬†a¬†claim¬†to¬†(reward,assistance,¬†punishment,¬†etc.)¬†because¬†of¬†actions,¬†qualities, or¬†situation.

I believe that I truly¬†deserve¬†nothing. I my actions, person, and situation give me no claim for anything in life. I deserve nothing. In saying this, I remove my sense of entitlement‚ÄĒif you observe people enough, you will find someone with this. I have no right, no claim to happiness. I have to choose happiness, everyday, for myself. Living life is not so burdensome and horrible that I deserve life: it was a gift, as are all things.

This isn’t to say that I don’t work hard and just sit around waiting for gift. I go out and seek what I want, but just because I’m looking does not mean I will receive. Being who I am does not mean I deserve anything. I am nice to people not for rewards, but because I like being nice to people.

I feel that a lot of people in America feel they deserve something, be it a promotion, raise, job, family, car, respect, etc. Living life feeling that I deserve something made me bitter and anger because I did not receive what I thought I deserved. It has taken time, but now I feel I deserve nothing. To me, this opens up the possibility of everything: I can receive‚ÄĒas a gift‚ÄĒanything. This my mean that events I guessed could be connected, are not, and that is exciting.

I have changed my outlook on life over the last few years, and the power of how I’ve changed my world-view has made life pleasant and wonderful. I still have a long way to go, and I think this friend has shown me that I am going in the right direction.

I deserve nothing, and therefore everything is a possibility.

Post what you think about deservedness in the comments, I want to hear what your opinion.

Storytelling

I think there is an innate need to tell stories, a need to share our lives and the details of our days with others. Everyone is a storyteller in some sense, and like all things some people are better storytellers than others. This need, desire, to tell stories is found in most cultures on our planet, if not all. Storytelling is the basic function of how we communicate and get to know each other, how we are able to know others well.

OMG! I’m telling a hilarious story!

I think there is also a need to hear stories, a need to be entertained by the lives of others. That explains our reasons for liking ¬†Shakespeare, the Bible, meeting with friends to hear about there days, “Reality TV,” etc. Often we tell stories we’ve heard from others, relishing the details of people we’ve never met.

In that, I believe we are all both absorbers and tellers of stories. Stories fuel our imagination, let us know people and things we couldn’t otherwise. Stories are on the news, stories are in the papers, stories online, stories are everywhere. We write stories in emails, stories in facebook updates, stories on blogs.

Also, I think that the urge to tell stories comes to some as writing fiction, others as writing poetry, others as nonfiction, some as oral storytellers too. I believe that anyone can benefit in their lives by writing (or speaking) stories and even just thoughts. That is one of the reasons why I teach creative writing‚ÄĒit allows people to explore stories they may not know they have inside.

What do you think of stories and storytelling?

Winners of May Giveaway Announced

My totally random way of picking winners.

Here are the winners of the contest (only 5 entered, so everyone won something)!

  • 2 hours of creative mentoring: Sessha Batto
  • 30 pages of editing: athenaktt
  • The following also receive 1 page of critique for free: Daniel, Anthony L. Isom, and¬†marta chaus√©e
  • The two following also receive a bonus of $50 off my online Craft of Fiction course (www.kandrewturner.com/courses): Anthony L. Isom and marta chaus√©e
Email me at katurner@kandrewturner.com to claim your prize! For those I can contact on other social networks, I will let you know!