Before I begin today’s blog, I’d like to get some messages/maintenance out of the way. First, I had a flash fiction story accepted by the wonderful folks at Bank-Heavy Press—awesome stuff, go check them out—and second, today is the last day to enter my May Giveaway. I’ll announce the winners tomorrow.
Let’s talk about forgiveness. There are only a handful of people that know a lot about me, most of them from the MySpace days years ago. When I was younger, my father said some very nasty words I’d rather not repeat—forgetting is not my strong suit. I took them to heart and had a lot of trouble with that relationship. Through following blogs and talking to who I will call enlightened people, I began the process of forgiveness.
It is not an easy road, forgiveness. It took me time to process the idea, test it out by forgiving “minor infractions.” Simple things, I would forgive, let go of the emotional anger at people driving—mostly trying to drive over me. Once I tested the forgiveness theory, I felt a burden taken off my shoulders (so to speak) and it was freeing. I forgave more and more, but there was that incident February 13, 2003 that still held on.
While in New Mexico, I would, on occasion, have strained conversation with my dad. We didn’t see eye to eye. I hadn’t forgiven him yet. It took moving home and having a conversation with him for several hours that led to me forgiving him. We don’t see eye to eye still, not on everything, but I forgiving him allowed me to move on, to grow from the fragile youth I was into a stronger person.
This lesson also taught me to forgive my own mistakes: to allow myself to not be “perfect” all the time. As a writer, that was the most valuable lesson I learned. I have freed myself to write whatever will be written with no expecation. No one has to see my writing but me—if I want to share it, I can, and if I want to edit is several times, I can too.
Have you ever had difficulty forgiving someone? Have you had a similar experience as me? Please let me know!