Teaser Tuesday 7/13/2010

Here is another teaser from my current WIP “Heir of Illuminations.” This is part of scene set much later in the book. Not sure where as I have yet to but it all together, but it’ll fall somewhere in the middle. The point of view is from Tyrian’s and he has just laid down before the start of his Final Test.

He still remembered when Al’rind Girhynni  decided to fight him for when he found out he was me’devan. He smiled at the thought; a small chuckled escaped his lips. Al’rind stood no chance. Typical boy, he was, trying to physically fight Tyrian, who in his earlier years had loved nothing more than fighting other boys. It didn’t help that he took great pleasure in physical exercise and always practiced extra with Ma’gus Nalvina. That woman could turn any warrior upside down without touching her Wellsource. She could him at that, and he was fairly good. Al’rind took three punches. Tyrian could still remember the soft flesh giving under his fists, the warm liquid blood that splashed his hand, and the disgust he felt, the beautiful release, the exquiste power he felt in triumphing over another.

Al’rind broke the rules, and blasted Tyrian with raw Wellforce, even though Tyrian was know for his exceptional ability to shield. He lost his temper, and drew the limit of his power, and smashed the young boy down, breaking thirty of his bones and nearly severing Al’rinds ability to touch the Wellsource. He was not proud of what he did, but no one ever challenged him after that. In fact, if anything he earned supporters and fans. All the girls desperately wanted to tend his wounds, and the guys worshipped his strength. Ma’gus Nalvina could almost not keep up with all the new students, until she asked Tyrian to take a few of the younger ones and train them with proper supervision, something he found he loved to do. That was years ago, and he only taught for a few months and then the whole thing died down. Of course, a few Elders were not happy with the fight, but they did not reprimand either student. Social ties and heirarchy were important, and had to be learned somehow. Apparently, the Elders did not care as long as the students learned.

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7 thoughts on “Teaser Tuesday 7/13/2010

  1. This excerpt has the feel of a long and involved work. There’s just something about it that makes me feel like there’s a lot to discover about the world and characters, that couldn’t be done in a short novel. This is my kind of fantasy, and I’d like to see where you’re going (and where you’ve been!) with it.

    My only complaint is I don’t like difficult to pronounce hyphenated names, because it takes me away from the story while I”m trying to figure out what they are. That’s just me though, it’s worked for a ton of authors and it can work for you, too. Thanks for posting!

    • Thank you! In the context of the story, I think it’s fairly plain what the word means, but in a short exerpt like this I can see why it could be bothersome. Thank you again for the comment, much appreciated!

  2. I found this very interesting and well-written. However, I did find it a bit all-over-the-place and confusing and it could use a good edit. I got the impression that you are just in the beginning stages of this scene, though, so I’m sure everything will be ironed out once you figure out where to put it.
    Good work and thanks for commenting on my post!

    • Yes, I apologize for the mess, but you are absolutely correct! It is in the beginning stage, unedited work. Thank you for the comment!

  3. I enjoyed reading your excerpt. I would definitely like to see what comes before and after it for context purposes. You have an interesting style. It’s easy to begin seeing the characters in action.

  4. Al’rind is a very unlikeable fellow! I’d either hope to see him change or get beaten before the end, lol. Good excerpt, Drew. I hope to read more next week!

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